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Las Vegas has always been an oasis where people from all over the world descend upon the desert to unwind and get completely black out drunk, which of course leads to outrageous shenanigans. And as a society we’re incredibly fascinated by the outrageous hijinks that take place in Vegas, if anything the ‘What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas’ slogan has only made us even more curious about the crazy shit that happens in the City of Sin. Most bros have an outrageous Vegas story (tell me yours down below in the comments), but this post isn’t just that, this is a collection of stories from people who work and live in Las Vegas about the worst thing they’ve ever seen there.
For whatever reason I’ve been reading the threads on AskReddit lately, if you’ve been following closely then you’ll know that led me to strippers talking about the craziest things they’ve ever seen inside the strip club, and the weirdest sex habits of couples. This time around I happened upon a thread titled ‘People who work in Vegas, whats the craziest thing you have ever seen?’ which I obviously immediately clicked on, and holy shit there’s some weird things that happen in Vegas.
Below is are some of the best responses (and weirdest stories) I came across, but you can read the full thread on Reddit by following the link at the end of this post!
The Worst Las Vegas Stories Of All Time (As Told By Locals)
4chinisbetterkek 786 points:
Life guarded at one of the pools on the strip, at one of the most notorious clubs. I watched a guy walk up to a girl, let her puke in his hands, smell the puke, then dump it on the floor and start making out with the girl. I had to yell at them for starting to strip as well. We would be cleaning up condoms, vomit, alcohol containers, clothing, syringes and all kinds of garbage up after closing every week, it was absolutely disgusting.
I also have a family member who worked with the local government when they were trying to curb the Mob’s influence. They were instrumental in convicting a few individuals. One day, they were leaving to go to church with their family, when their son pointed out a thin wire running along their hood or something like that. They got everyone out of the car, opened it up, and found that the ignition had been connected to the fuel tank or something, essentially it was rigged so that when they started the car it would go up in flames. I guess it’s crazy that that was so close to home.
JackRakan93 903 points:
My SO’s mom is a housekeeper for one of the fancier hotels on the strip. She has stories of entering a room and seeing food littered across the room and feces smeared across the walls. On the bright side, she also finds cocaine-dusted $100 bills that she just washes and pockets.
Chernograd 62 points:
I lived there for seven years, but I never worked on the Strip or anything. Most notable thing I can recall: someone did “Big Buttz” by Sir Mix-A-Lot during karaoke at [name of establishment redacted], and some chick in a miniskirt invaded the stage and started twerking or whatever you call it. No panties, and the most elastic, low-hanging vulva I have ever seen. It must have been a good four or five inches of swinging turkey gobbler.
She was literally whipping it. Like, up, down, back and forth, in a circle….
The crowd went fucking bananas, as you can imagine. The guys were all howling like starving wolves on the other side of a cage from a side of beef. It was legendary.
davidlee8282 370 points:
I had a guy come up to me and tried to sell me used lingerie/thongs that “strippers” wore. He had a gym bag full of thongs. I just made a 180 and walked the fuck away.
isaiah8500 177 points:
I don’t work there but my mom saw a guy crying like a baby in a diaper, next to a prostitute, out side of a Hooters.
pageplantzoso 83 points:
Local here:
A few years ago I’m the DD driving home from a local bar. Most artery streets in Vegas are 45, and I was probably going 50. I see something down the road so I start to slow down as it’s dark. It’s a dude standing there. Black dude, maybe 40-50, with no shirt on and he’s facing my vehicle as I appraoch. I get a bit closer and realize his dick is out. He is pissing in the center lane of a 45 mph road. After coming to a complete halt, we just stare at him. After a few seconds, with his other hand, he just waves me by, telling me to proceed. I did.
FoxGetThisGuyOffMe 142 points:
Work at a local college campus.
Had to have a handwritten conversation with a deaf guy about why he couldn’t look at porn in public where there were minors.
Later that same semester, in rooms where the back “wall” consists of a panel of windows, a guy sitting in the last row of computers was jerking it to some porn and ran out with his pants around his ankles when security came to remove him.
mrnickylu 118 points:
My time to shine. I worked at a Vegas restaurant that faced the Bellagio fountains so we had a ton of foot traffic in front of the restaurant and were open 24hours. I worked the graveyard shift and saw plenty of bat shit crazy. The most memorable and definitely the weirdest thing I saw was one morning around 4am, when I was working on our patio that was around 6 feet raised above the sidewalk. From out of nowhere, a giant, I mean GIANT homeless man in a floor length tie dye dress/shirt/moo moo shuffled in front of the restaurant patio towards a trashcan on the sidewalk. He began digging in the trash and I shit you not pulled out a live ferret along with some other trash, kiss it on the mouth and just kept on walking. I didn’t know if he put the ferret in there, if he knew it was in there or if he was just cool with taking on a random trash pet or what. I really hope he wasn’t baby-birding food from it’s mouth, but I remember thinking it couldn’t really be happening in front of me. I think I can confidently say that was the craziest thing I witnessed working in Vegas. TLDR: Saw a giant homeless man pull a ferret out of a trash can and keep on walking. After a sweet little kiss on the mouth of course.
richyrocks1 167 points:
God dammit. I’m a security officer in downtown Las Vegas but I’m like 9 hours late at this point. Oh well here’s a story recently at least. I have so many stories it’s hard to see which one is “the best”. There was a call for an undesirable person in our valet lot and me and another officer respond to the call. We get there and there’s an older gentleman (probably 60) sitting on the sidewalk with a backpack and a small hand bag. He is sitting with some beige pants, shirtless and no shoes. I walk closer and I see that the hand bag he has is actually a cosmetics bag that was full of make up supplies. I see he has an open bottle of bright red nail polish and he’s applying the nail polish to his forehead. The closer I get I see that he has purple nail polish on his chest, blue nail polish on his shoulders and then the red on his face. I ask him
“hey man… What’s going on here?”
“Oh. I’m just putting on my makeup”
“Alright, well you look beautiful but you gotta go”
“Oh, thank you! I’ll leave”
He proceeds to collect his belongings as slow and calm as a man could. He gets up and begins to walk away and I’m thinking that was a pretty ok encounter. I say
“Have a nice day”
He turns around and yells
“FUCK YOU! Get off me!” and proceeds to fast walk/jog away from me.
Stabfacenotback 599 points:
At a pool people watching with my friends during an all girl vegas trip, this gorgeous, fantastic beautiful woman in a white crotchet bikini gets up from her chase lounge and walks like a super model in slow motion.
Like wind gently blowing her blonde hair, tits hard, tan, the whole nine yards.
I’m a straight chick and I had a hard on for this girl. So did every single 80 year old man at the pool. They stood around her drooling. The young guys stayed back and played cool.
She dipped under the water and did the whole splash thing with her hair, I swear it was all slow motion.
When she opened her eyes, not only did she realize she was surrounded by geezers, she realized her boob slipped out.
SO funny to watch her return to her seat fast-forward after all the slow motion shit.
lango92 1005 points:
Used to be a lifeguard on the strip and the craziest thing would probably be how many people think it’s cool to fuck in the pool. I mean wtf! You need a room key just to get to the pool area, walk your horny ass back to your room to fuck.
unopocho 555 points:
Saw a British Airways plane engine explode on the tarmac about a week ago. That was pretty crazy.
fivesided_fistagon 495 points:
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I don’t work in Vegas but I saw a man once on the strip with a sign that said “Kick me in the balls for $10”.
lapone1 316 points:
My mother worked in a hotel downtown. There was a man who was playing a megabucks type machine and had to go to the restroom. He told his wife to play the machine while he was gone. She did, but didn’t load the machine – only playing one at a time. The machine hit while he was gone – but not loaded. He beat her up and went to jail. She went to the hospital. This story was written in the local newspaper too. I have more stories, but this one always amazed me.
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robertw3524 235 points:
A friend worked at Tao for a long while. They’ve got a black logo on the bottom of the pool, it contrasts well with the white pool wall stuff. by the end of the night you cant see it bc the water is so cloudy and black. Also, NEVER take your shoes off. Nothing good can come from it. If you’re one of the girls who thought it was smart to wear some sexy heels, they sell emergency flats in vending machines for $11.
Stabfacenotback 209 points:
A hooker-looking chick was wearing acrylic platform heels about 8″ high and she was walking through the front doors into the Mirage Hotel.
As soon as she crossed from doormat to marble floor, she turned her ankle and it broke right in front of me as I continued to walk out.
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ObviousLobster 120 points:
Got a gig doing door duty at that pawn shop from pawn stars. One day, I was looking across the road at a vacant lot (it was fenced off, under construction). A guy in a nice button-up shirt and slacks slips behind the fence and tries to open a port-a-potty door, only it was locked. He kept trying and pulling at it getting more and more aggressive when all the sudden he just tears at the top corner of the door, bending it backwards and snapping plastic and everything. Then he steps back and proceeds to projectile urinate into the open corner of the fucking port-a-potty from like 4 feet away. Meanest looking Korean dude I’ve ever seen. His friends see what he did and run out of the shop, collect their still belligerent friend and pile in a limo and drive off.
Only in Vegas.
I_VAPED_YOUR_MOM 45 points:
I don’t work in Vegas, but I go to a convention there every year. Defcon.
It was my first Defcon, and this was back at the Riviera, a casino so terrible that as long as you weren’t actively demolishing the casino, they tolerated pretty much anything.
Craziest thing I saw was a guy bust through the top of the elevator solid snake style. The guy proceed to punch the emergency stop, turns to the other guy in the elevator, and proceed to ice him.
As in, made him drink a Smirnoff Ice.
After his…. bro? chugged the Natty, he turns to me and says “YOU SAW NOTHING” then runs down an adjacent stairwell.
I started walking off as security was coming up – I told them some guy hit the stop button and ran off. Natty Guy gave me a nod. Ran into Solid Snake later playing blackjack.
And that’s just a cross-section of the responses I pulled from the AskReddit thread, there are a whole lot more to read through if you’re looking for more and you can READ THEM ALL by following that link!
In the meantime I’m interested in what the MOST FUCKED UP THING YOU BROS HAVE EVER SEEN OR DONE while visiting Las Vegas has been, hit me with your answers/stories down below in the comments!!!!!
Poker Stories is a long-form audio podcast series that features casual interviews with some of the game’s best players and personalities. Each episode highlights a well-known member of the poker world and dives deep into their favorite tales both on and off the felt.
Michael Schwimer grew up as a standout athlete in Fairfax, Virginia, and in high school was a star on his baseball and basketball teams. The 6’8’’, 240-pound Schwimer led his basketball team to a championship and was even named MVP over future NBA center Roy Hibbert, but ultimately decided to turn down scholarship offers from Coach Mike Krzyzewski at Duke and Coach Rick Pitino at Louisville in order to pitch for his hometown University of Virginia baseball team.
Schwimer decided to finish his degree, and even interned at a hedge fund, before he was drafted by the Philadelphia Phillies. He spent three years in the minor leagues before making his major league debut, and finished his career with a 3-2 record. Schwimer says he made more money in the poker games on team road trips than he did as a player during his time in the league.
After retiring, Schwimer started Big League Advance, a company that invests in (or stakes) minor league baseball players in exchange for a percentage of their future earnings. His second company, Jambos, is now positioning itself in the rapidly-expanding sports betting market.
This December, Schwimer will be appearing on new episodes of High Stakes Poker, which has returned for an eighth season with original hosts Gabe Kaplan and A.J. Benza. Schwimer will be competing against a lineup that includes Tom Dwan, Bryn Kenney, Rick Salomon, Nick Petrangelo, Jean-Robert Bellande, and Brandon Steven.
Highlights from this interview include being born two feet tall, an early appreciation for data, saying no to Rick Pitino and Mike Krzyzewski, the scorecard of hedge funds, being drafted by the Phillies, the truth about his signing bonus, how ‘Houdini’ got from the minors to the majors, short-stacking the team $100-$200 poker game, Jonathan Papelbon’s favorite hand, big buy-in games with Tom Dwan in London, using the element of surprise on High Stakes Poker, the staking business of baseball, sports betting expansion, singing to Bruce Springsteen, reffing sixth-grade basketball games, pizza socks and slaps in the face, and betting $780,000 on the Super Bowl.
You can check out the entirety of the interview in the audio player at the top of the page or download it directly to your device to play on the go from Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.
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Catch up on past episodes featuring notables such as Doyle Brunson, Daniel Negreanu, Jennifer Harman, Bryn Kenney, Justin Bonomo, Antonio Esfandiari, Nick Schulman, Barry Greenstein, Dan Smith, Michael Mizrachi, Mike Sexton, Maria Ho, and many more. If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to get the latest episodes automatically when they are released.